Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Best Ways to Dig out of Ruts

While the main road we live on is covered in a sturdy white caliche that sloughs off the elements, pasture roads soak up the moisture and turn to goo after a good rain. We have had a lot of good rain these days. It's monsoon season in New Mexico. Cattle still need supervising. Fences need fixing. Ranch life must continue despite the elements. 
Recently, the kids and I followed my rancher husband as he drove a tractor out to the east pastures to fix fence more easily. Even though Punkin, the old orange truck he bought for $400, has four wheel drive we veered off onto a pasture road and immediately got into some trouble. The ruts from the rain had dried into deep groves, making it nearly impossible to navigate the road. My son observed that I didn't drive like daddy. I managed to jump the truck out of the ruts up onto the firm footing of the grassy pasture. We met our ranching guy over at his destination and took the kids home for lunch.
I realized I have a lot of ruts in my life. This past weekend I visited some friends in Colorado Springs where I spent twelve years as a young professional. Seeing my old friends and haunts reminded me many of my patterns of thinking have not changed. I still see the worst more often than through lenses of faith. I tend toward fear of the future rather than contentment with the present. There I had worries of taking care of myself as a single woman. Today I have worries taking care of my kids and being a good wife. The constant for me is to have faith instead of fear.
How do I break out of the rut of negative thinking? How do I refuse to let my worries water it until it is soggy with despair? How can I keep the path clear for hope and contentment?
This past week I have started a scripture writing challenge for the month of August. I realize that though I often get time to read the Bible on my phone or even in my journaling Bible, I don't often let it soak in or change my thinking. Doing this verse or two a day, letting it soak in, reading other's insights from the Holy Spirit--this truth and fellowship are drying up my doubts and feeding my faith. Already I have seen my hope begin to grow, my contentment peak its head out. This ends in a month, but the idea of focusing on letting God's word feed my faith and propel me to fellowship does not have to end. The only way to eliminate "Stinking Thinking" as they used to say is to replace it with meditating, ruminating, and changing because of the Holy Spirit's use of truth in my life.

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